Saturday, July 21, 2007
Don't Call It A Comeback
It feels like I've been here for years! Africa, that is. I plan on finishing spinning my tales of the 'round-the-world adventure of March 2007 eventually, but for the moment I thought I'd share some information on what's happening RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW. I'm back in South Africa, currently kickin' it in Rape Town. This being the southern hemisphere (where hamburgers eat people!), it's the dead of winter right now, and indeed, in Jo'burg (the Dirty Job!) and Bloemfontein (the Dirty Bloomers!) it was, literally, freezing. There was snow in Botswana while I was here. But the only waters flowing were the bitter sting of tears. My time here thus far has been extremely productive, which is good, but I must say the homesickness has taken hold, which is bad. The homesickness comes with a free choice of frogurt, which is good, but unfortunately the frogurt is also cursed. That's bad.
The low point of the trip so far came on Tuesday night. I rolled up to the Bloemfontein Bus Station at 5:30 PM to wait for my 9:00 overnight bus to Cape Town (this is one of two overnight buses I will be taking here, the next goes down this coming Monday. I am not fond of overnight buses.) For one thing, it was absolutely bone-chilling in the station, and there was nothing to do but sit there, huddled amongst my luggage (man, if I had a dollar for every time I was stuck somewhere shivering and huddled against my luggage). Second, this being Africa, of course the bus did not come on time. But the greatest horror was yet to come. Finally, the bus arrived, and I get handed my seat assignment. I head into the bus, and see this absolutely enormous woman, literally, she must have been over 500 pounds, completely taking up two whole seats. I thought to myself, "Poor woman, having to buy two seats!" But oh no, she did no such thing. One of the seats, being occupied by a single brobdingnagian buttock, was, it turned out, bought by yours truly. I recoiled a moment, then checked and checked again my seating assignment, and there was no doubt about it. I said, "Excuse me", and was able to sort of halfway sit on the edge of the seat, where there is no cushion but just the hard plastic underneath, and it dawned on me that this was going to be the most hellish 12 hours of my life. I mean, I've had some pretty bad 12 hour stretches before, but lordy, this one was going to be rough. Thankfully, just before the bus took off the ticket girl saw my predicament and said that there were other seats further back I could move to. I should have reckoned that a mid-week overnight bus across a barren desert might not be totally full. It was only a partial reprieve, however, as that woman continued to plague me by bursting out every five minutes with a hacking, crouping tubercular coughing fit, that, coupled with the bumpiness of the journey, made any attempts at sleeping impossible. Hopefully, the bus to Grahamstown will be somewhat less problematic, but I make it my business to plan for the worst.
It feels like I've been here for years! Africa, that is. I plan on finishing spinning my tales of the 'round-the-world adventure of March 2007 eventually, but for the moment I thought I'd share some information on what's happening RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW. I'm back in South Africa, currently kickin' it in Rape Town. This being the southern hemisphere (where hamburgers eat people!), it's the dead of winter right now, and indeed, in Jo'burg (the Dirty Job!) and Bloemfontein (the Dirty Bloomers!) it was, literally, freezing. There was snow in Botswana while I was here. But the only waters flowing were the bitter sting of tears. My time here thus far has been extremely productive, which is good, but I must say the homesickness has taken hold, which is bad. The homesickness comes with a free choice of frogurt, which is good, but unfortunately the frogurt is also cursed. That's bad.
The low point of the trip so far came on Tuesday night. I rolled up to the Bloemfontein Bus Station at 5:30 PM to wait for my 9:00 overnight bus to Cape Town (this is one of two overnight buses I will be taking here, the next goes down this coming Monday. I am not fond of overnight buses.) For one thing, it was absolutely bone-chilling in the station, and there was nothing to do but sit there, huddled amongst my luggage (man, if I had a dollar for every time I was stuck somewhere shivering and huddled against my luggage). Second, this being Africa, of course the bus did not come on time. But the greatest horror was yet to come. Finally, the bus arrived, and I get handed my seat assignment. I head into the bus, and see this absolutely enormous woman, literally, she must have been over 500 pounds, completely taking up two whole seats. I thought to myself, "Poor woman, having to buy two seats!" But oh no, she did no such thing. One of the seats, being occupied by a single brobdingnagian buttock, was, it turned out, bought by yours truly. I recoiled a moment, then checked and checked again my seating assignment, and there was no doubt about it. I said, "Excuse me", and was able to sort of halfway sit on the edge of the seat, where there is no cushion but just the hard plastic underneath, and it dawned on me that this was going to be the most hellish 12 hours of my life. I mean, I've had some pretty bad 12 hour stretches before, but lordy, this one was going to be rough. Thankfully, just before the bus took off the ticket girl saw my predicament and said that there were other seats further back I could move to. I should have reckoned that a mid-week overnight bus across a barren desert might not be totally full. It was only a partial reprieve, however, as that woman continued to plague me by bursting out every five minutes with a hacking, crouping tubercular coughing fit, that, coupled with the bumpiness of the journey, made any attempts at sleeping impossible. Hopefully, the bus to Grahamstown will be somewhat less problematic, but I make it my business to plan for the worst.
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