Monday, March 20, 2006
Lep in the hood come to do no good
This year, in honor of St. Patrick's Day, I had myself a "Leprechaun Lepre-thon" in which I watched all six Leprechaun movies straight through. For any of you who are unfamiliar with the series, it is a prominent part of the remarkably populous horror movie subgenre involving humorous, pint-sized killers (the Child's Play and Puppetmaster series are other notable examples). The Leprechaun, played by veteran midget actor Warwick Davis (of Willow fame), is a malignant little sprite obsessed with his pot of gold. Said gold is always, one way or another, purloined, prompting bloody vengeance. Beyond that, the exact nature of the Leprechaun changes from movie to movie. To give you a brief overview of the series:
Leprechaun: Greedy Irishman steals the Leprechaun's gold, moves to North Dakota. Leprechaun follows, but is trapped in a crate. Ten years later, people move in to the house, release the Leprechaun, and mayhem ensues. Notable for starring a pre-Friends Jennifer Aniston and Francis from Pee-Wee's Big Adventure. The Leprechaun's motivation in this one is purely reclamation of stolen gold (though he clearly enjoys murdering folks, and cracking rhymed couplets, to get it). The Leprechaun is said to have "sold his soul" for his pot of gold. Physical damage (bullets, etc.) have only temporary effect on him, and only a four-leaf clover can kill him.
Important lessons learned: If you hear what sounds like a creepy little kid trapped inside a crate, please, just let him suffocate.
Leprechaun 2: Lep comes out of a tree in L.A. to claim his bride. Intended bride's boyfriend causes trouble, gets hold of one of the Leprechaun's shillings, and mayhem ensues. Notable for starring Shevonne Durkin, who unlike Jennifer Aniston did not go on to fame and fortune (probably because while Aniston played a bimbo from L.A. in the original movie, Durkin really was one.) Also notable for featuring Sandy Baron, TV's "Jack Klompus" from Del Boca Vista ("Take the pen!"). In this entry, the Leprechaun's main motivation is wedding and bedding--the gold thing is a secondary complaint. You see, the Leprechaun can only take a bride once every thousand years, and only on his birthday, which just happens to be St. Patrick's Day. If he can get his intended bride to sneeze not once, not twice, but thrice, then he can abduct her and transform her into some manner of Lepre-Wench (apparently, extensive "plastic surgery" is involved both to expand the uteral region to hold a whole pack of Lepre-Pups and to Leprefy the face, because baby Leprechauns won't suckle something that looks different from them. Who knew?) Unlike in the first movie, the Leprechaun is unable to harm anyone that holds his gold--a gold-holder must willingly relinquish it to the Leprechaun. Also, no mention of clovers: Leprechaun 2 draws from traditional folklore by having the Leprechaun be vulnerable to wrought iron.
Important lessons learned: Always poke a girl with a stick before you kiss here, because she could be a wood chipper in disguise.
Leprechaun 3: A clearly unlucky man deposits a Leprechaun statue in a pawn shop in Las Vegas, warning the store owner not to touch the amulet around his neck. Store owner does so, Leprechaun is released, and mayhem ensues. Notable for starring, well, no one, really, unless you count John DeMita doing his proto-Gob Bluth. The Lep is back to basics here, reclaiming the one missing shilling from his pot of gold (God, Lep! If you only kept closer track of those dang shillings you wouldn't have to go through this every time!) Unlike in the first movie, though, each shilling allows the person who holds it one wish. This, of course, allows the Lep to kill people in ironic wish-fulfillment ways (it should be noted that this is the "wacky death"-heaviest entry in the series, for the most part, the Leprechaun usually just creates some illusion then strangles or stabs the person.) Also, in this one a Leprechaun bite can apparently turn you into a were-Leprechaun. No obvious vulnerabilities to clover or iron here (though he does have a weakness for potatoes), but he does appear to be susceptible to explosions.
Important lessons learned: Parents, never send your child off to college by giving him an envelope labeled "This should cover tuition and housing", especially if you know he's going to be stopping in Vegas along the way.
Leprechaun 4: In Space: The first one to have an official subtitle (although I like to refer to 3 as "Viva Las Leprechauns"). Unfathomably insane. It's the future, obviously, and the Lep has a kidnapped alien princess in a cave on his gold planet. Space marines come in, blow him up, take his treasure, and the princess. Leprechaun reforms on the space marines' ship (I won't say exactly how, except to note that apparently Leprechauns are similar in habits to the candiru), escapes cargo bay, and mayhem ensues. The Leprechaun has much bigger ambitions in this one than in any previous (or subsequent) entry--he wants to be king of a planet, hence his need to capture (and marry) a princess. Whereas the Lep usually just wants to be left alone with his gold, he's got a major inferiority complex working here. It's the future, though, so perhaps he realized how empty the pursuit of riches over the centuries. Ha ha, not really, because he still insists on getting his gold before escaping the spaceship. He also doesn't rhyme in this one, possibly because even he got tired of rhyming "shillings" with "killings" so many times over the years. As for powers, the Leprechaun seems to be utterly invincible in this one: he is totally detonated several times and always reforms, and seems to have no vulnerabilities.
Important lessons learned: Alien princesses flash their breasts at you as a sign of contempt.
Leprechaun 5: In The Hood: Because where else can you go after "Space"? Notable for starring Ice-T. He's got his headlights turned off, his shotgun sawed off, gettin' ready to dust some leprechauns off. So, back in the 70s, a Super Globetrotter-esque Ice stumbles upon a treasure trove in the sewers containing an amulet-bedecked Leprechaun statue (just like in Leprechaun 3). Ice takes the golden flute in among the loot, and while the Leprechaun is released, he his redecked in his lithifying amulet soon enough. Flash to the present, where three struggling rappers decide to rob Ice-T's house to get money for audio equipment. As you might expect, they screw it up, release the Leprechaun, and mayhem ensues. So, I noted above that this one borrows from Lep 3, and like that film represents a return to the Leprechaun doggedly pursuing gold following a marriage-based movie. In this case, he wants that golden flute, which is magical and has the power to make anyone who listens to it enthralled by your music, no matter how crappy of a rapper you are! The Lep displays few real vulnerabilities here, although he can be weakened by clover and does turn back to stone whenever you get that amulet around his neck. Oh, and he has also developed a fondness for the ganj (Quoth: "A friend with weed is a friend indeed!") He definitely manifests some new powers in this film: if he is in close enough proximity to a person, he can blow a hole right through their chest. He also has hypnotic powers and/or a link to the underworld. There's some confusion on this point: in one scene, the Lep (who is trapped in a safe, just like in Lep 2 [he's bad at that]) "summons from the netherworld his zombie fly girls." Yet at the end of the movie, we are treated to a scene that clearly takes place earlier in the movie in which the Lep raps and takes control of the waitresses at a club (who become the zombie fly girls). One can only imagine that this scene was left until the end so as to finish the movie on a high note (because honestly, the "real" ending sucks but the Lep rap is pretty tight.) Now, how to explain the discrepancy in the explanation of the zombie fly girls? This movie posits a "dark elf in league with Satan" origin for the Leprechaun. I would argue, then, that the Leprechaun is able to control the girls by summoning some demonic familiars, succubi perhaps, to possess them. This reconciles what we see occur with his "summon from the netherworld" comment. Also, I realize that this is a stupid Leprechaun movie, thank you for pointing that out, but consistency is important to me, dammit.
Important lessons learned: There is no sadder fate for a rapper than to die as a virgin in drag.
Leprechaun Back 2 Tha Hood (A.K.A. Leprechaun 6): As I hope I've made clear, none of the Leprechaun movies have any sort of continuity between entries. So despite the title, this does not continue the story of Leprechaun In The Hood. Personally, I wish they hadn't gone back to the hood, because there are so many more possibilities to explore (Lep on the High Seas? Lep in Japan? Leprechaun: Origins?), but I was actually surprisingly happy with this one. Basically, some underprivilged kids in the hood find the Lep's gold, he's released, they've already spent a lot of it, he starts killing, working his way back to the kids who got the gold, and mayhem ensues. I love this movie because the filmmakers have, at this point, essentially run out of interesting ways for the Leprechaun to kill people. As such, we get a lot of scenes of the Lep just hanging out, smoking pot, and rambling about his day. And let me tell you, those are great scenes. I wouldn't mind seeing a movie made up entirely of that stuff, wherein Lep actually remembers all of his gold for once and just has "A Day in the Life". Anyway, in this one, the Lep's chest (not pot) of gold is infinitely self-filling, which is new, but he is once more vulnerable to four-leaf clovers (also like in the original, Deep Roy is back to do Warwick Davis' stunts!) One major downside: features the stupidest Lep-defeat ever at the end.
Important lessons learned: Turn off your cellie when engaged in a gang war/Leprechaun battle.
Overall, I would say the Leprechaun series was extremely successful at what it set out to do: make silly movies about a little person who speaks in rhyme and wants his gold back. I mean, you've gotta love the little guy, and the filmmakers are just trying so hard with such a ridiculous concept. As such, I eagerly await Leprechaun 7, in which it is revealed that the creature destroyed while grasping the electrified pot of gold was only a Lepre-Clone...
This year, in honor of St. Patrick's Day, I had myself a "Leprechaun Lepre-thon" in which I watched all six Leprechaun movies straight through. For any of you who are unfamiliar with the series, it is a prominent part of the remarkably populous horror movie subgenre involving humorous, pint-sized killers (the Child's Play and Puppetmaster series are other notable examples). The Leprechaun, played by veteran midget actor Warwick Davis (of Willow fame), is a malignant little sprite obsessed with his pot of gold. Said gold is always, one way or another, purloined, prompting bloody vengeance. Beyond that, the exact nature of the Leprechaun changes from movie to movie. To give you a brief overview of the series:
Leprechaun: Greedy Irishman steals the Leprechaun's gold, moves to North Dakota. Leprechaun follows, but is trapped in a crate. Ten years later, people move in to the house, release the Leprechaun, and mayhem ensues. Notable for starring a pre-Friends Jennifer Aniston and Francis from Pee-Wee's Big Adventure. The Leprechaun's motivation in this one is purely reclamation of stolen gold (though he clearly enjoys murdering folks, and cracking rhymed couplets, to get it). The Leprechaun is said to have "sold his soul" for his pot of gold. Physical damage (bullets, etc.) have only temporary effect on him, and only a four-leaf clover can kill him.
Important lessons learned: If you hear what sounds like a creepy little kid trapped inside a crate, please, just let him suffocate.
Leprechaun 2: Lep comes out of a tree in L.A. to claim his bride. Intended bride's boyfriend causes trouble, gets hold of one of the Leprechaun's shillings, and mayhem ensues. Notable for starring Shevonne Durkin, who unlike Jennifer Aniston did not go on to fame and fortune (probably because while Aniston played a bimbo from L.A. in the original movie, Durkin really was one.) Also notable for featuring Sandy Baron, TV's "Jack Klompus" from Del Boca Vista ("Take the pen!"). In this entry, the Leprechaun's main motivation is wedding and bedding--the gold thing is a secondary complaint. You see, the Leprechaun can only take a bride once every thousand years, and only on his birthday, which just happens to be St. Patrick's Day. If he can get his intended bride to sneeze not once, not twice, but thrice, then he can abduct her and transform her into some manner of Lepre-Wench (apparently, extensive "plastic surgery" is involved both to expand the uteral region to hold a whole pack of Lepre-Pups and to Leprefy the face, because baby Leprechauns won't suckle something that looks different from them. Who knew?) Unlike in the first movie, the Leprechaun is unable to harm anyone that holds his gold--a gold-holder must willingly relinquish it to the Leprechaun. Also, no mention of clovers: Leprechaun 2 draws from traditional folklore by having the Leprechaun be vulnerable to wrought iron.
Important lessons learned: Always poke a girl with a stick before you kiss here, because she could be a wood chipper in disguise.
Leprechaun 3: A clearly unlucky man deposits a Leprechaun statue in a pawn shop in Las Vegas, warning the store owner not to touch the amulet around his neck. Store owner does so, Leprechaun is released, and mayhem ensues. Notable for starring, well, no one, really, unless you count John DeMita doing his proto-Gob Bluth. The Lep is back to basics here, reclaiming the one missing shilling from his pot of gold (God, Lep! If you only kept closer track of those dang shillings you wouldn't have to go through this every time!) Unlike in the first movie, though, each shilling allows the person who holds it one wish. This, of course, allows the Lep to kill people in ironic wish-fulfillment ways (it should be noted that this is the "wacky death"-heaviest entry in the series, for the most part, the Leprechaun usually just creates some illusion then strangles or stabs the person.) Also, in this one a Leprechaun bite can apparently turn you into a were-Leprechaun. No obvious vulnerabilities to clover or iron here (though he does have a weakness for potatoes), but he does appear to be susceptible to explosions.
Important lessons learned: Parents, never send your child off to college by giving him an envelope labeled "This should cover tuition and housing", especially if you know he's going to be stopping in Vegas along the way.
Leprechaun 4: In Space: The first one to have an official subtitle (although I like to refer to 3 as "Viva Las Leprechauns"). Unfathomably insane. It's the future, obviously, and the Lep has a kidnapped alien princess in a cave on his gold planet. Space marines come in, blow him up, take his treasure, and the princess. Leprechaun reforms on the space marines' ship (I won't say exactly how, except to note that apparently Leprechauns are similar in habits to the candiru), escapes cargo bay, and mayhem ensues. The Leprechaun has much bigger ambitions in this one than in any previous (or subsequent) entry--he wants to be king of a planet, hence his need to capture (and marry) a princess. Whereas the Lep usually just wants to be left alone with his gold, he's got a major inferiority complex working here. It's the future, though, so perhaps he realized how empty the pursuit of riches over the centuries. Ha ha, not really, because he still insists on getting his gold before escaping the spaceship. He also doesn't rhyme in this one, possibly because even he got tired of rhyming "shillings" with "killings" so many times over the years. As for powers, the Leprechaun seems to be utterly invincible in this one: he is totally detonated several times and always reforms, and seems to have no vulnerabilities.
Important lessons learned: Alien princesses flash their breasts at you as a sign of contempt.
Leprechaun 5: In The Hood: Because where else can you go after "Space"? Notable for starring Ice-T. He's got his headlights turned off, his shotgun sawed off, gettin' ready to dust some leprechauns off. So, back in the 70s, a Super Globetrotter-esque Ice stumbles upon a treasure trove in the sewers containing an amulet-bedecked Leprechaun statue (just like in Leprechaun 3). Ice takes the golden flute in among the loot, and while the Leprechaun is released, he his redecked in his lithifying amulet soon enough. Flash to the present, where three struggling rappers decide to rob Ice-T's house to get money for audio equipment. As you might expect, they screw it up, release the Leprechaun, and mayhem ensues. So, I noted above that this one borrows from Lep 3, and like that film represents a return to the Leprechaun doggedly pursuing gold following a marriage-based movie. In this case, he wants that golden flute, which is magical and has the power to make anyone who listens to it enthralled by your music, no matter how crappy of a rapper you are! The Lep displays few real vulnerabilities here, although he can be weakened by clover and does turn back to stone whenever you get that amulet around his neck. Oh, and he has also developed a fondness for the ganj (Quoth: "A friend with weed is a friend indeed!") He definitely manifests some new powers in this film: if he is in close enough proximity to a person, he can blow a hole right through their chest. He also has hypnotic powers and/or a link to the underworld. There's some confusion on this point: in one scene, the Lep (who is trapped in a safe, just like in Lep 2 [he's bad at that]) "summons from the netherworld his zombie fly girls." Yet at the end of the movie, we are treated to a scene that clearly takes place earlier in the movie in which the Lep raps and takes control of the waitresses at a club (who become the zombie fly girls). One can only imagine that this scene was left until the end so as to finish the movie on a high note (because honestly, the "real" ending sucks but the Lep rap is pretty tight.) Now, how to explain the discrepancy in the explanation of the zombie fly girls? This movie posits a "dark elf in league with Satan" origin for the Leprechaun. I would argue, then, that the Leprechaun is able to control the girls by summoning some demonic familiars, succubi perhaps, to possess them. This reconciles what we see occur with his "summon from the netherworld" comment. Also, I realize that this is a stupid Leprechaun movie, thank you for pointing that out, but consistency is important to me, dammit.
Important lessons learned: There is no sadder fate for a rapper than to die as a virgin in drag.
Leprechaun Back 2 Tha Hood (A.K.A. Leprechaun 6): As I hope I've made clear, none of the Leprechaun movies have any sort of continuity between entries. So despite the title, this does not continue the story of Leprechaun In The Hood. Personally, I wish they hadn't gone back to the hood, because there are so many more possibilities to explore (Lep on the High Seas? Lep in Japan? Leprechaun: Origins?), but I was actually surprisingly happy with this one. Basically, some underprivilged kids in the hood find the Lep's gold, he's released, they've already spent a lot of it, he starts killing, working his way back to the kids who got the gold, and mayhem ensues. I love this movie because the filmmakers have, at this point, essentially run out of interesting ways for the Leprechaun to kill people. As such, we get a lot of scenes of the Lep just hanging out, smoking pot, and rambling about his day. And let me tell you, those are great scenes. I wouldn't mind seeing a movie made up entirely of that stuff, wherein Lep actually remembers all of his gold for once and just has "A Day in the Life". Anyway, in this one, the Lep's chest (not pot) of gold is infinitely self-filling, which is new, but he is once more vulnerable to four-leaf clovers (also like in the original, Deep Roy is back to do Warwick Davis' stunts!) One major downside: features the stupidest Lep-defeat ever at the end.
Important lessons learned: Turn off your cellie when engaged in a gang war/Leprechaun battle.
Overall, I would say the Leprechaun series was extremely successful at what it set out to do: make silly movies about a little person who speaks in rhyme and wants his gold back. I mean, you've gotta love the little guy, and the filmmakers are just trying so hard with such a ridiculous concept. As such, I eagerly await Leprechaun 7, in which it is revealed that the creature destroyed while grasping the electrified pot of gold was only a Lepre-Clone...
Comments:
War,
Man am I glad I was checking my unused bookmarks to determine whether to delete them or not. Christian's back on the internet doing important things, inserting Simpson references everywhere. Just like God intended.
Your review of the Leprechaun series was both informative and interesting. As you know, I too am a stickler for continuity in movie series that clearly just weren't thought out. I have spent many a hour thinking up an explaination on how time-travel exactly works in Back to the Future and in the Butterfly Effect. (back in the day at Marvel comics, Stan Lee would reward such efforts with your own "no-prize")
-Cbass-
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Man am I glad I was checking my unused bookmarks to determine whether to delete them or not. Christian's back on the internet doing important things, inserting Simpson references everywhere. Just like God intended.
Your review of the Leprechaun series was both informative and interesting. As you know, I too am a stickler for continuity in movie series that clearly just weren't thought out. I have spent many a hour thinking up an explaination on how time-travel exactly works in Back to the Future and in the Butterfly Effect. (back in the day at Marvel comics, Stan Lee would reward such efforts with your own "no-prize")
-Cbass-
# posted by 
: 11:57 AM
: 11:57 AM