Small Shelly Fauna

I am, by nature, very much concerned with novelty (or novility, as the case may be.) I derive special pleasure from doing things that, on immediate reflection, I realize no other person has ever done. Considering the billions of people that have existed since the origins of mankind, this is no small feat. Now, to check my rampaging ego a bit, I don't mean that I've climbed unscalable mountains or beat impossible odds or anything like that. It is to feats of language that I lay unique claim. Sometimes I say things, usually to myself, that represent the first time that phrase has ever been said and, in all likelihood, will ever be said. The skeptical will no doubt remark, "But you can never be sure that in all the world, that combination of words hasn't been utilized before." Certainly, but sometimes, you just know. For example, some time ago I was poking through the basal actinopterygian collections, looking for specimens of Aspidorhynchus. I thought I lucked out when I came upon an entire cabinet with that genus emblazoned on its label. Opening the cabinet, however, revealed not the long-sought Aspidorhynchus but the closely-related yet useless for my purposes Vinctifer comptoni. So irked was I by this turn of events that, without thought, I shouted "Vinctifer?!? I'll have nothing to do with that filter-feeding layabout!" The incorporation of a genus name into the statement is somewhat of a cheat, as any odd sentence can be rendered "original" through the inclusion of sufficiently obscure scientific jargon. However, I would wager that the mere three word combination of "filter-feeding layabout" had never before been uttered by human tongue.

Such statements represent the apogee of any true "originality" I might claim. Much as I would wish it otherwise, the majority of my time consists of going through the motions that countless people have done before and will continue to do in the future. Take this blog, for instance. Already it is mired in the most tired of web-publishing bromides. Right now, I'm doing the "hey, I'm a twenty-something loser attempting to offer "deep" insight into the nature of the human condition" thing. I hate that one. Earlier in this post, I linked to a webcomic, a similarly typical blog feature. That isn't creative content, it's piggy-backing on someone else's work. Yet, I've noted that many of the best blogs, or at least the more popular ones, are reactive rather than active. That is, they start out linking to some news item or fact of note, and then respond at length to said item. Well, consider this my response to their responses, making this some manner of meta-blog.

METABLOGGGGG!
It's time to prattle, robo-prattle, with Boss Hogg!
Belabor your points, just like the dead horse, THAT YOU FLOG!
METABLOGGGGG!

Note the random pop culture reference in the above digression (which is, itself, one big pop culture reference, as the astute will note.) Again, one of the grand old chestnuts of the electronic page. Not that I could help it: such things are, after all, my stock-in-trade. So, expect to see a lot more of them from here on out, in addition to such vital information as my current mood, what I'm listening to, vaguely pathetic whining about relationships, and the ever-popular "Results of something on Quizilla I linked to on another blog."

Stick around, folks, there's good times ahead.